Post

 The best decision I made when hosting a milestone birthday was asking people to stow away their phones upon arrival. It changed the entire dynamic of the evening. As the meme goes, “Not a cellphone in sight, just people living in the moment.”

 If you’re in someone’s house, don’t go secretly snooping around and posting photos. Also, take cues from the host. If they’re posting pictures, by all means post back. But never post somebody’s children. Unless you ask first, don’t even take their picture.

 Gosh, I don’t think you can avoid certain topics in 2024. I think the world would be a better place if more people of different viewpoints broke bread and shared a glass of wine and talked about things.

 I think we are in a time of perhaps the most geopolitical instability I have seen in my lifetime — it would be odd to avoid such subjects. I recently sat next to a wildly well-informed media baron and asked him for his views on Trump, Biden, Ukraine and Putin, and I had a fascinating dinner. Ask people their views, be interested in others, and you will get invited back over and over.

 I had a dinner maybe a month and a half ago, and I invited a diverse group. It started with the whole can-you-believe-what’s-going-on-with-college-campuses type of thing. And it got so heated that somebody threw their drink across the table, looked at me and said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t sit here if these are your friends,” and stormed out.

 The old adage says to avoid discussing politics or religion at a party, but politics are so all-consuming right now. It’s crucial to be thoughtful. The art of civil discourse appears to be lost, and I think it’s time to resurrect that.

 I was at a dinner party the other night with my husband, and he brought up what was going on in Israel with some Israelis. It got heated. It didn’t end in agreement, but they were able to be civil afterward, and I was impressed by that. I do think we actually live in an age where you should at least address some of the things that are happening. Don’t expect to solve anything — but we can’t ignore it, obviously.

 You can be cute. But don’t think you’re décor. Never show up empty-handed. Bring a bottle — vodka or tequila or white wine. Nothing worse than a bottle of red wine that spills. Offer to help make breakfast.

 When you’re staying at someone’s house, don’t use it as a hotel. And don’t sleep in. I can’t stand when people sleep in, in my house! And don’t leave your bed unmade. Fill the fridge. Unload the dishes. And make sure the matriarch of the family is happy. That is the way you get invited back.

 Here in the South, the topic of when to say when is not something that one has to consider. My favorite quote is from Dorothy Parker: “I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three, I’m under the table. After four, I’m under my host.”

 But if someone has had too much to drink, I usually offer to help them get home and call them a car. They usually don’t realize I’m also pushing them out the door. I once had a guest who had too much to drink. He said goodbye, and I thought he had left. The next morning, the butler discovered him passed out on the dog bed!

 I know exactly how much alcohol I can have before I am not presenting myself well. I like people having fun, but slurring? You are not coming back, if you’re a slurrer. At a certain age, too, you just can’t do that anymore. The drug thing is not my thing, so I don’t get the mushroom party thing.

 I’m amazed at how, when I was using a lot of drugs and drinking a lot, how I really believed that everybody was doing it. And once I stopped, I was like, No, I was kind of the only one.

 I personally think saying goodbye is important. Especially to the host. But if you can’t find them, or if slipping out the door is the only way to get out, then a text saying goodbye should do. No matter what, I always send a text thanking the host and saying how nice the evening was. That goes a long, long way.

 I’m the biggest believer in Irish exits. I think that if you tell people you are leaving, it’s kind of disappointing, so why would you tell them? It raises this whole point of “You’re leaving?” And it pauses the whole vibe.

 One of the most fabulous things that my husband and I have experienced is, we were at dinner with Bette Midler, and she insists on doing the dishes, wherever she is, at her house, or at somebody else’s house. “I’m doing the dishes!” She needs to do the dishes. That’s probably one of the reasons she’s so successful — she knows she could do dishes, if she had to.

 This is a huge new thing in New York, where people no longer thank. I’m old enough and spoiled enough that, if I make an effort to give a dinner party and invite you, I hope you will acknowledge it. It’s just old-fashioned manners. When you’re invited, and you accept, you thank.

 If you had a good time, even if it’s a week later, call and say, “Just thinking of you today, thank you again for a beautiful evening.” Or put that on a card with a stamp and throw it in the mail. It’s lovely to get something like that. Handwritten cards are wonderful.

 We’re not in the handwritten note days anymore, but send something afterward, a thank-you note, a follow-up. And don’t use the word “can’t,” as in, “I can’t wait to see you again.” No! Make it: “I look forward to seeing you again.” Something that evokes that positive energy into the next step.

Strippers

 As the hostess, I expect everyone to leave at the designated time. If they don’t, I have several foolproof ways of dealing with stragglers. First, I turn off the music. Then I walk around with a candle snuffer in hand, gradually extinguishing the candles. Finally, I start picking up the glasses, even the ones people are still drinking from.

 Once the room is dark and the alcohol has stopped flowing, most guests get the message. But there’s always someone who foolishly believes you want the party to go on all night. That’s when I say, “Do you need me to call you a car?”

 Hosting your first dinner party is an exciting undertaking, filled with the thrill of planning and the anticipation of bringing your loved ones together. From designing dinner party invitations to curating a specific menu, creating a welcoming environment, and timing it all just right—there’s a lot to plan. But fear not! We’ve compiled a list of tips for hosting a dinner party that will make your first one a breeze.

 We love cultural themes like an Italian feast or a French fête, cuisine favorites like a seafood boil or fondue party, and fun options like a casual game night or a garden party. If you want to get into the spirit of your theme, ask your guests to come dressed accordingly.

 Part of the fun of planning a dinner party is the opportunity to introduce new people to each other. You likely have friends from everywhere—work, childhood, and mutual friends. Consider inviting a carefully curated group that you think will have common interests and enjoy each other’s company. Thoughtful planning helps ensure a lively, enjoyable evening where everyone feels comfortable and connected. After all, the more, the merrier!

 Sending dinner party invitations well in advance gives everyone time to make arrangements and ensure they can attend. It also gives you plenty of time to prep and plan, so things are just the way you want them. You’ll be able to comfortably confirm RSVPs, adjust the menu accordingly, and order any ingredients, supplies, or décor. An early invitation builds anticipation and excitement for the evening, making your dinner party feel special right from the start.

 Hosting a successful dinner party requires planning for dietary requirements and restrictions to ensure that every guest feels cared for and included. Paperless Post makes it easy! Instead of texting guests individually, you can enable Guest Questions when you create your invitation, allowing you to ask about dietary restrictions directly. This way, you’ll collect all pertinent information upfront, giving you time to plan your menu and accommodate allergies, vegetarian preferences, or other restrictions.

 Let the fun begin! Planning a menu is your chance to get creative. If you’re confident in the kitchen, showcase your skills with dishes you’ve had bookmarked for months, or try Food & Wine’s flavor-packed paella, salmon with sour cream and onion hasselback potatoes from Bon Appétit, or a vibrant pita and kebab board by Camille Styles.

 If you prefer to play it safe, stick to dishes you know well—especially ones guaranteed to be crowd-pleasers. You could do make-your-own pizzas for a communal experience, put together some grilled chicken street tacos with all the toppings (both from Delish), or prepare a casual but classic Caesar salad from Bon Appétit and a side of crispy, salty fries. Remember, the goal is to enjoy the evening with your guests, so choose a menu that lets you feel relaxed and present at your party.

 Since you’re providing the main meal, asking a guest (or two) to bring a little sweet treat is perfectly fine. Guests can bring pies, cookies, ice cream, cheesecake, cupcakes, or anything else they love baking. By outsourcing dessert, you’ll save time and give your guests an opportunity to get in on the fun.

 Organization and efficiency are the keys to minimizing stress on the day of your dinner party. Start by creating a detailed shopping list that includes all the ingredients you’ll need, plus extras like drinks, appetizers, and décor. Give yourself time to hit your favorite grocery stores so you’re not rushing to find that critical ingredient at the last minute.

 If you’re hosting a more formal dinner, splurging on quality stemware can be a worthwhile investment. Elegant wine glasses don’t just add a lovely detail; they’ll elevate the entire experience for your guests. Consider them a gift to your future self—one that celebrates the success of your first dinner party and sets the tone for many more memorable evenings to come!

 There’s nothing quite like a good bottle of wine, and ordering your favorite by the case is a smart way to save money while ensuring you’ll have plenty on hand for dinner. A nice glass of wine can help people relax and get the conversation flowing. However, if wine isn’t everyone’s preference, consider offering beer, a refreshing spritz, or non-alcoholic mocktails as well to accommodate a variety of tastes.

 With a little inspiration and some light prep work, guests can enjoy a perfectly crafted cocktail—while you enjoy the evening. Mix up a signature drink ahead of time using simple pitcher cocktail recipes from Olive, or try a crowd-pleasing spiked punch bowl by Redbook. Add garnishes like fresh herbs or citrus slices so guests can serve themselves and customize their drinks just the way they like. Cheers to that!

 Cheese can be filling and expensive when feeding a crowd. While it’s often the go-to appetizer for dinner parties, it’s wise to round out your suite of options. This way, your guests can enjoy a few bites and still have plenty of room for dinner. Consider light, flavorful snacks like olives, spiced nuts, pickled vegetables, or veggies and hummus. If you’re working with a theme, keep the apps coordinated for a cohesive menu.

 Put a twist on tradition and use herbs to spruce up your décor. Display fresh herbs in glass vessels, scatter them artfully across the table, or place them in mini herb pots for a rustic touch—and a charming take-home gift for your guests. And as a bonus, many herbs smell lovely. For an extra pop of color, arrange citrus fruits in decorative bowls to bring vibrancy to your table.